Josh was a twelve year old boy, who I didn't know well enough to speak to, but I'd recognise his face or his name. He probably knew my brother and sister better than me. I don't think he even knew my name. As I said, I didn't know him very well, but from what I saw and heard, he was a nice boy and I liked him. He had lots of friends, caring parents and he was very happy. He loved to ride his bike and he was really good at it.
On October 31st, 2008, Josh was riding his bike past the local garage when his bike collided with a van and Josh was killed. His tragic death has shaken everyone who knew him, and even those who didn't. He is already sorely missed and I hope he knew before he died just how loved he was by everyone. Because if he can see his friends now, from Heaven, he'll be able to see just how heartbroken they are without him.
And when I think about it, I can't help but think, surely it should have been me? Josh was loved, treasured, respected and he was happy. So many people have been hurt and crushed by his death and a highly valued life was lost. And all that could have been avoided if it had been me. Someone who is unhappy with their life. It would have been so much better, I'd be gone and Josh would still be down here, riding his bike and playing football and having a good time with all his friends. It's so unfair that he had to be the one that was killed. I guess God just needed another angel and knew he'd be perfect.
But when I think these things, I feel selfish and disrespectful. How can I turn something as awful as a twelve year old boy being killed into something that's about me and what I want? How can I do that? It's disgusting. But I really am shattered by hearing the news of his death and I hope his family and friends can find the strength to help and support each other through this.
Black Mariah.
Sleep Tight, Josh, 1996-2008
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